No, this post isn't really about the family that I was born into, but more about the family that I'm a part of today. I just got back from one of my favorite Matis Firesides that I've been to and I'm feeling so good. Those firesides really keep me going. They help me to get my life realigned to where it should be. It's amazing. I love the Matis family. They are so inspiring and I love every second that I'm around them. They are incredible! Anyway, I had a lot of good experiences tonight. I brought a friend who I recently told and it was a really good experience for her. We talked a little while afterwards and there were lots of things that she said that really made me think. What I wanted to focus on in this post was family.

My friends and I frequently joke about the term family. We use that word as a code word to know if someone else was gay. Like we would ask - "so, is he...family? It's great! We know exactly what the other person was asking. I used to use the term struggler (Is he a struggler?) but a lot of people have negative attitudes about the term struggler, so I figured family was a better word to use. Tonight, I feel it's fitting. These friends are like a family to me!

When you think of a family, you think of a safe place where you can feel happiness and love when you're around them. It's a place where you can "let your hair down" and just be yourself! That's what it's like when I go to these firesides. I don't have to worry about keeping up the facade of being a "normal" straight guy, but I can be who I really am. Yeah, I struggle with SGA, but I'm more than that. I can also be the kind of guy that I hope I am, or at least the kind of guy that I want to be - a caring and compassionate person. Those traits are generally frowned upon in society, at least if you're a male. It's not thought of being very masculine to show another person that you sincerely care about what's going on in their life, their ups and downs and everything in between, especially if it's another male. Ideally, a family is a place to share your burdens and get the help and strength that you need to get back out there and keep fighting. That's what these people are to me, my family.

I do want to clear up two things. First, my earthly family is great. I have nothing against any of them. My parents are doing their best to be supportive of me and my situation. I haven't told any of my brothers or sisters about my situation so I really can't complain that they continue to push dating and marriage because they don't really understand how much that doesn't help me right now. I just don't feel I can be myself around them like I can with my family. Second, a person doesn't need to experience SGA to be considered the family that I'm referring to in this post. I was only referring to our code to each other about how to say someone was gay with out saying...gay. I love my friends that are straight who go to the firesides. I consider them family because they let me just be me and love me unconditionally.

I'm sure not everyone has had the same experiences at the Matis Firesides as I've had, but I'm grateful for the feelings of love and compassion toward one another that I've felt when I'm around this amazing family.