It's been a while since I've last posted. The purpose for this blog was to be a journal of my experiences with Same Gender Attraction. I wanted to post the good times and the hard times and everything in between so I can see my progression (if any). But since its creation, I have had several close friends and family members that regularly read it and...to be honest...I feel like I can only post the positive things so that no one would worry about me. Because of that...I've really only posted notes of firesides that I've been to and not really about any of my thoughts. Lately....they haven't been really positive and I've been filled more with doubt than faith.

I've kept myself from asking the "why" questions for a long time. Like, "Why do I feel this way?" "Why can't it just go away?" "Why is God allowing me to feel these feelings that are so contrary to the Plan of Salvation instead of taking them away?" I just don't get it. Some days I can see the the positive in this and even find things to be grateful about, and then there are some days I'm just ready to call it quits! Anyway, it's life. Many people have these same thoughts regardless the struggle.

Anyway, I wanted to share this experience that I had last night. I went with some friends of mine to a Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert. The choir is going on tour and they gave a little performance for friends and family. It was a great concert but my thoughts were all over the place! I was mostly focusing on my frustrations with life and also the people around us and wondering what they were thinking. (especially since the people behind us were from my home ward, and the couple to the right were people I went to high school with!) ahh! SO stressful! Anyway, then the choir sang "Come, Come, Ye Saints". Oxymormon (a blog coming soon) leaned over to me before they sang and said, "listen to the words and think how it applies to Same Gender Attraction". I thought, "ok, whatever". Anyway, I really got something from it. So...I posted below a link to the song. I ask you to do what my friend told me, listen to the words and think how it applies to [insert personal struggle here].




I think what got me the most was the second verse.

Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?
'Tis not so; all is right.
Why should we think to earn a great reward if we now shun the fight?
Gird up your loins; fresh courage take.
Our God will never us forsake;
And soon we'll have this tale to tell-
All is well! All is well!

Well...it's given me something to think about. I hope that you got some Insight too.

In every email home to my family from my mission I would end the words All is Well. I think it fits well here too.

All is Well!