This video isn't very insightful, but I think it's hilarious! I saw this video several months ago and I wanted to share it here. He's probably got some issues to face in the future, let alone what his mom does to him here. Maybe we'll see him at a fireside someday? ;)

Spring is here! I love being outside when the weather is beginning to get warmer, the grass is getting greener and the flowers are beginning to grow. People just seem happier and honestly, there's nothing better than taking a nap on the grass between classes! Spring is wonderful! Spring always reminds me that the time for General Conference is fast approaching. I love General Conference! I always feel spiritually rejuvenated and find more resolve to realign my life with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am excited to hear the words of the Prophet again in less than 2 weeks.

I was talking with a friend of mine a few weeks ago. We were listening to a song on my iPod that was sung at the closing session of General Conference back in October of 2006. I remember watching this session with my family and I remember feeling the spirit so strong when the choir sung "We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet." There was just something special when this song was sung that day. Tears were streaming down my face when I noticed that the congregation stood up on the final verse. I felt a strong confirmation that Gordon B. Hinckley was the Lord's chosen prophet on the earth at that time! It was cool that everyone remained standing even through the closing prayer. I'd never seen that before in a session of conference. Anyway, after talking with my friend about this, I thought for sure someone had felt the same way about this particular experience and that someone had posted a video of it on YouTube. I couldn't find anything, so I decided to create my own YouTube channel so I could upload this and share it with all of you. Check it out, be sure to click HQ in the bottom right corner to watch it in higher quality and watch it till the end. Like I said before, I love it when the congregation stands on the final verse. I still get goosebumps watching that part. ;)





Did you feel it? I hope so. I absolutely love it! I am SO thankful for a prophet! I love President Hinckley and I'm grateful for all he has done for the Church. I'm grateful for President Monson who leads us and guides us today!

I couldn't imagine dealing with life with out a living Prophet to lead us through these troubled times. Same Gender Attraction is confusing and there are so many different messages out there about what should one do who deals with SGA. I testify that the members of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles are aware of our situation and that they do love and care for us! They are not here to make life harder for us, but they are here to help each and every one of us to find and stay on the path that will lead us home to our Heavenly Father. They testify to the world that Jesus is the Christ and that He lives and loves us. I feel of their love at each General Conference.

I feel hope when they speak. Just like the 2nd verse says: "When dark clouds of trouble hang o'er us and threaten our peace to destroy, there is hope smiling before us and we know that deliverance is nigh." I'm grateful that I can look to the leaders of the Church for guidance and counsel when my path seems clouded o'er. I've noticed that when they speak, everything in life just seems clearer.

I know that President Monson has been called of God to lead us today. I firmly believe that if we follow his counsel and continue in faith and prayer to our Heavenly Father, that we will not go astray. We will be on the Lord's side. Indeed, I'm thankful for a prophet!

We thank thee, O God, for a prophet
To guide us in these latter days.
We thank thee for sending the gospel
To lighten our minds with its rays.
We thank thee for every blessing
Bestowed by thy bounteous hand.
We feel it a pleasure to serve thee
And love to obey thy command.

Last night I was watching the movie The Lion King. It's been a long time since I've watched this movie. I know it's Disney which means it's pretty cheesy, but I got a lot of Insight from watching it. Anyway, this is my disclaimer: I feel there are some correlations between parts of The Lion King and the gospel. If you think that's ridiculous, you can stop here. I'm not offended one bit. ;)

OK, here we go. I wanted to add this clip from YouTube and then I thought I'd share some of my thoughts after wards. If you want to watch the full scene, you can go here.



I think many of us know the story here so I don't need to explain. But here are some things that got me thinking:

"Look harder"

Too often I don't look hard enough. I doubt too much and I don't listen to my heart nearly as much as I should. I've posted recently about love. Particularly about God's love for me. I know there have been times in my life where I knew He loves me, but then I forget. And then there are times when I feel His love again, but then I discount it with my list of reasons why He couldn't possibly love me! Lately, I've been trying to feel God's love and I realize that it's always been there. I just needed to look harder and then I could see it. (by looking harder, I think regular prayer and scripture study are a key to that process) I know I'm not perfect and I know God knows I'm not perfect, but I think He loves me anyway. So that's the point here. God has not stopped loving me and He hasn't stopped loving you. If we, for what ever reason, feel He doesn't love us - then let's try to look harder and maybe we'll see it.


"You have forgotten who you are"

I remember growing up, before I left for school in the morning my mom would say "A.struggler! Remember who you are!" (OK...so that's not my name, but you get the idea :) ) I'm grateful that she would always remind me to think of who I really am. Recently I have forgotten who I am. Who am I...really? Am I just a second class member of the Church because I have these same gender attractions? To be completely honest, I have felt that way a lot. Today I don't. I think I'm more than that. I am His son, a son of God.


"Look inside your self (insert name here), you are more than what you have become."

I wonder if we really knew our potential, would we be doing what we're doing? If I really knew who I could become, would I be making the same mistakes that I make every day? I think that every one of us has the potential to be someone great! Even greater than the person we are now.


"How can I go back? I'm not who I used to be?"

This one really got to me. I've said these exact same words many times before. I'm not the same person that I was on my mission, or in seminary or what ever. I could never be that person again. I've made too many mistakes. When I watched this movie, I was like..."Simba! You're fine! Go back! It wasn't your fault! They need you back at pride rock!" That sounds silly, I know. When I have friends that tell me that they just can't go back to church or the temple cause they've done too much and that they wont find happiness there I just want to shake them and help them understand how wrong that thought is. The thing is, I've had those thoughts all the time recently. "I can't go back to the temple, I'll never belong there." It's false! Absolutely false! We can do it and we must! We are needed at church and we are needed at the temple! We can go back, thanks to our Savior, Jesus Christ and His Atonement.


"Remember who you are, you are my son and the one true king"

I just feel that it's so important to remember who we are. If you're anything like me, then you probably need to hear this more often. Remember who you are, we are His children and we have the opportunity to be like Him someday.


OK, did you survive this cheesy comparison? If you did, thanks for sticking around. I know The Lion King isn't doctrine, nor is it something we should stand up in Fast and Testimony meeting and declare that this movie is true, but I feel there are some principles shared that can be applied to each of our lives. Thanks again for sticking around. Remember who you are, cause to me...you're amazing!

No, this post isn't really about the family that I was born into, but more about the family that I'm a part of today. I just got back from one of my favorite Matis Firesides that I've been to and I'm feeling so good. Those firesides really keep me going. They help me to get my life realigned to where it should be. It's amazing. I love the Matis family. They are so inspiring and I love every second that I'm around them. They are incredible! Anyway, I had a lot of good experiences tonight. I brought a friend who I recently told and it was a really good experience for her. We talked a little while afterwards and there were lots of things that she said that really made me think. What I wanted to focus on in this post was family.

My friends and I frequently joke about the term family. We use that word as a code word to know if someone else was gay. Like we would ask - "so, is he...family? It's great! We know exactly what the other person was asking. I used to use the term struggler (Is he a struggler?) but a lot of people have negative attitudes about the term struggler, so I figured family was a better word to use. Tonight, I feel it's fitting. These friends are like a family to me!

When you think of a family, you think of a safe place where you can feel happiness and love when you're around them. It's a place where you can "let your hair down" and just be yourself! That's what it's like when I go to these firesides. I don't have to worry about keeping up the facade of being a "normal" straight guy, but I can be who I really am. Yeah, I struggle with SGA, but I'm more than that. I can also be the kind of guy that I hope I am, or at least the kind of guy that I want to be - a caring and compassionate person. Those traits are generally frowned upon in society, at least if you're a male. It's not thought of being very masculine to show another person that you sincerely care about what's going on in their life, their ups and downs and everything in between, especially if it's another male. Ideally, a family is a place to share your burdens and get the help and strength that you need to get back out there and keep fighting. That's what these people are to me, my family.

I do want to clear up two things. First, my earthly family is great. I have nothing against any of them. My parents are doing their best to be supportive of me and my situation. I haven't told any of my brothers or sisters about my situation so I really can't complain that they continue to push dating and marriage because they don't really understand how much that doesn't help me right now. I just don't feel I can be myself around them like I can with my family. Second, a person doesn't need to experience SGA to be considered the family that I'm referring to in this post. I was only referring to our code to each other about how to say someone was gay with out saying...gay. I love my friends that are straight who go to the firesides. I consider them family because they let me just be me and love me unconditionally.

I'm sure not everyone has had the same experiences at the Matis Firesides as I've had, but I'm grateful for the feelings of love and compassion toward one another that I've felt when I'm around this amazing family.